1966 Maryland adoptee

How easily they go astray

2009-07-04T20:38:00.002-04:00

I had previously posted that my step-daughter and I had finally reached a wonderful relationship. That has all gone to _ell! I don't know what happened or how it happened, but she wants nothing to do with her father and I. I love her, but am so frustrated with her. We sent her to school and she quit 1 yr short of graduating, and has decided not to have any contact with us. The last time I talked with her was December 25 of 08. I ask myself all the time, were we to hard on her? Did we not help like we should have. Then I get angry! I have another daughter that had some really bad things happen with her, but now she is soaring high in the sky. One I thought would be no problem and one I thought would be. Lord, you just never know!

Gender Bender?

2009-07-04T19:43:00.002-04:00

I have not been on here for some time! I still search in the shadows! I haven't actually done a real thesis on what percent of adotee's sex are actually found, but from all my readings, I believe I am the wrong sex. I constantly see males being found, and yes a handful of females. I can't help but wonder if I were a male would I have been found already? I still have hope, but not as much as I used to. I realized a long time ago that it really isn't in my cards. My adoptive brother was always the lucky one. His birthmother wanted to know him, and he was not ready at the time. I have had the privalage of getting to know his bMother and his family, so I knew that this was the extent that I would get. I wish that you were looking for me...Someone, anyone....You would not be sorry, I am content in my life with my husband and children. You would benefit from getting to know me. You would never have to publicly acknowledge me, but offer me your friendship. NO one would have to know that I am your child! I have had a very happy life and would not want it any other way! Maybe some day....

I Just maybe related!

2007-05-17T12:16:00.000-04:00

WHO IS JACK SCHITT??
For some time, many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt. We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

After being sent this email, I think I may have been related to the son of Dip Schitt and Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

I can sometimes have a rather nervous disposition, and I know that I can be Chicken Schitt when it comes to seriously finding any birth family. All it would take is a little nerve and money.

Well, the money part may have just been solved. I recently was excepted in a medical secretary position. So, no more excuses on not having the money, and feeling guilty about taking from my family.

Now I need to find the courage to send the money when I can, and realize that my Birth Mother may not want contact, or god forbid be dead. I just have to do it, but I am scared.

It is funny how I can rationalize on this blog, but when it comes to the real world I chicken out.

Happy Birthday Kevin

2007-05-11T17:28:00.000-04:00

My Brother and I 25 years ago.

Today is Kevin's Birthday, but he was killed in a traffic accident 25 years ago. I wish I could celebrate his 43 birthday with him.

I seem to write a lot of sad entries, but it helps to get it out. Boy do I love him!

Kevin's my adopted Brother, but I think we look alike, somewhat. He is two years older than me.

When he was 17 1/2 his Birth Mother contacted my Adopted Dad to see if Kevin wanted contact with her. At that time in his life he felt he wasn't ready for it. I gotta tell you I was so jealous of him. I would have jumped at the chance. When I went to CC to get my non-id info, the day after my 18th birthday, I told them that my Brother had died, and asked them to put a note in his file in case his Birth Mother ever tried to contact him again. That was in 1984. In 1998 Catholic Charities contacted me by letter, and asked me to call them about something important. Well, I got that letter on a Friday afternoon to late to call, and had to wait until Monday morning. I thought the entire weekend that my Birth Family was looking for me. Monday I called, and was told that Kevin's Birth Mother asked them again to see if he wanted contact. I felt so badly for her that instead of getting a yes this time she finds out that her baby died. I was so sad for her at that moment. Catholic Charities asked if I would allow her to write me. I immediately said YES! I always felt that if I never met my Birth Family, just knowing Kevin's would be just as great. It would give me another connection to him. We have been in contact with one another ever since. I know that she has so much pain, but every Birthday, holiday, anniversary of the accident she makes sure that I know that she is thinking of me. My brother and I were very close. Kevin was always there for me.
Connie emailed me last night, and because I have joined some really great adoption sites, I feel that I can understand her even more. Kevin led me to a wonderful woman His Mother! I will cherish the relationship always. I mailed Connie pictures, some things he wrote. I talked about his likes and dislikes. I tried to let her have some piece of his life. So, I have an even bigger extended family.
I just wish he would have been ready at first contact. This proves to me you should never put off things like this, because you never know what the future has in store for you.
Kevin, I salute you. My dear Brother.
All My Love forever!

Controversial Movies and in the news

2007-04-14T19:28:00.000-04:00

I have been reading so many post on the Disney movie "Meet the Robinson's", and discussions about Imus. I think we live in a world that needs controversy . Meet the Robinson's movie, is portraying an adoption related story line that adoptive parents believe is confusing to their adopted children. My personal opinion on this is simple...The adoptive parents need to stop projecting and implying a potential problem. I think the children are just seeing a funny movie that has inference to adoption. What child would impose themselves as the character if not for someone putting the thought in their head. The director himself was adopted, and I am sure that he thought the story line through. I believe he wanted to get the point across that it doesn't matter where you come from, as long as you move on you can get past it. Building a strong character proves that you can succeed in life.
The Imus story to myself is ridiculous. He was hired as a shock jock, and that is what he has always done. He is not just prejudice to one race, religion or ethnic group. I have seen him be just as rude and uncaring to people that work with him. I did not see his comment as being out of character for him. My belief is he will be on XM with Howard Stern making much more money in the long run. Then what will the naysayers do? If he isn't on XM, I think he has already made a comfortable living as the shock jock he was hired for. I think sometimes is better to let things run off your back. Two people have precipitated this and they I feel are the ones that need to be stopped or racial prejudices will continue to get worse. It would be nice to live in a world that you could count on the next guy. Whom ever that may be.

Weekend with my own Daughter

2007-04-10T15:08:00.000-04:00

My Daughter (step) invited me to spend this past weekend with her. She is going to college in Arlington, Texas, and her best friend from 8th grade was celebrating her 21st birthday. I felt very honored to be invited to partake in the festivities.
I know this is not exactly adoption related, but I feel that being a step parent in some ways parallels adoptive parents. When my (step) Daughter first moved in with my husband and I we had a very strained relationship to say the least. Amanda was 11 going on 12, and as we all know this is a very difficult age. All those hormones raging through the body.
We both struggled to get and maintain some type of relationship. I think the turn around came when she turned 16. Her and I really started talking and confiding in one another. She always called me Mrs. Kelly. Some people asked me if that bothered me and I always said no. I am also a (step) Daughter and know how these relationships can be. I did not call my stepmother Mom until I was 14 or 15. I have always said that just because you are given the title of Mom does not make it deserving to you. I felt that I would be called Mom by Amanda if I was deserving of such an honor. She started calling me Mom about 3 years ago. I know that the word Mom to her is important, and I feel so honored that she decided to call me Mom.
After the wonderful weekend with My Daughter, I feel very blessed to be given the chance to be her Mom.

Is your Mama a Llama? Are you My Mother?

2007-04-05T16:00:00.000-04:00

Books and expressions are part of my memories of my childhood, and knowing that I was adopted. These two books Is Your Mama a Llama? by Steven Kellogg and Are You My Mother? By: P.D. Eastman are two that stand out in my head. Last night for so unknown reason these to books popped into my mind. I have known that I was adopted since the age of 3. I am not sure what at that age I understood, but I don't think it really made any sense until I got older.
I remember that these two books held my fascination more so than others. I would sit and try to imagine who my mother was. I know I had a Mother, but she kept telling me that there was another unknown Mother out there some place. We would go to the mall or to eat somewhere, and I would look at all of the women and think is that my Mother.
My adopted Mother told me that her and my father went to the hospital and picked me out of a lot of different children. I was the "Chosen one". he he. I have to admit being told that enough times I started to believe it. She (a/mom) always said positive things about my Birth Mother and Father. I am glad that she did, because I have never felt unloved by either set of parents. One set gave me up for the good of my life and the other picked me for the good of my life. Who could be luckier?
Later in life a new expression popped up "Who's Your Daddy?" Well, once again I would say who knows! It could be the postman, baker, banker, or the homeless man on the corner downtown or the richest man on Earth. Or in some cases I would often reply which one, I have 3 Daddies. Birth Daddy, Adopted Daddy and Step Daddy. he he
Now that I have shown a different side of myself for all to see...I hope if my Birth Family reads this they don't say "thank god we got rid of her" Just joking.

Support Encouragement Love

2007-04-04T12:47:00.000-04:00

I am so impressed by the people that I have met on adoption related sites. I have been given so much by people that I have never met. I read of there own adoption related stories, and I have realized that I am not alone. Its nice to have these strangers write and tell you that what your feeling is normal. I also appreciate the honesty that the Birth Parents freely give. It helps me as an adoptee to see the truth of what can happen in adoption.
It then makes me wonder, why can't everyone be like this. So helpful and understanding to a virtual stranger. I try to be a better person that is kind and thoughtful of others. I want to give back what I have received.

Mystery Adoptee?

2007-03-30T15:46:00.000-04:00

On one of the adoption triads I belong to we all were sitting on the edges of our seats. Our administrator had a post from a pastor that knew a Birth Mother, and she had googled her name which in turn showed that her Birth Daughter was searching for her. The Pastor wanted more information, so he did not say who the adoptee was. For almost 1 day, I know that dosen't seem like a long time, but for us it was years! We knew that the adoptee was female, but I knew it wouldn't be me. I think that I will be a mystery for as long as I live.
It is my belief that the word mystery perfectly describes how I feel about being adopted. It is a mystery that I long to solve.
My Birth Parents may never try to search for me and I can live with that. There are so many reasons that they don't want to search. Maybe they are married and never told their spouse about their secret. That is what we were to them. It is a shame that they felt they had to keep us locked up inside and never be let out. I wish that my Birth Family found this site, and would understand that I would never want to cause them any unecessary pain. If they didn't want a relationship I would understand, but just to have the chance to know where I come from would be great.
So for now I remain a mystery.

Why I search

2007-03-23T11:22:00.000-04:00

I often wonder why I continue to search...I believe that it is because of my childhood. I was the second child adopted by my parents. I have always felt that I was ignored to often. My adopted parents were divorced by the time I was three, and my brother and I became the "objects to own" by them both. When I was younger my Brother was always the object of desire, and it caused friction between us. So, I search to find maybe what I lacked as a child. I am very grateful to my Birth Parents for placing me for adoption, and not taking an easier way out. I wish to cause no pain. I love my live now, not that it is perfect. I have a wonderful and supportive husband, and three great children. If I had not been placed for adoption, I would not have that.

Searching for my roots!

2007-03-22T16:05:00.000-04:00

I was born August 27, 1966 in Anne Arundel, Maryland. I have all my non-identifing information. There is little to search with. My Birth Family lives some where in the New England states. I have posted with all the search engines, hoping to find someone searching for me. I have not had Catholic Charities start a search for me for a few reasons: 1.) I don't have the extra money at this time. 2.) Yeah, I'm affraid they will reject me, and I am not prepared for that. I belong to a couple groups, and my heart soars with all the finds, and joyful reunions. I like the fact that someone else gets me. The family that adopted me, had adopted my brother 2 years before. His Birth Mother contacted my adopted Dad, and she wanted to know if my brother wanted contact. At that time in his life he wasn't ready. Tragically, he passed away 1 1/2 years later. When I got my non-identifiying info, I asked them to put a note in his file that he had passed. His Birth Mother had CC contact me, and see if I would talk to her. Of course I said yes. I was able to share him with her, and I sent her pictures, and papers that he wrote. I have had a very good relationship with her for over 10 years. I would love to do the same with my Birth Family.
I have read so many posts that get so hostile about the "Adoption" issue. My feelings on this are simple. You have Two sets of parents, the Birth parents and your adopted parents. So many people get caught up in the name game. I am from a divorced family, and they both remarried. I now have 3 Mother's and 3 Fathers.