Friday, March 30, 2007

Mystery Adoptee?

On one of the adoption triads I belong to we all were sitting on the edges of our seats. Our administrator had a post from a pastor that knew a Birth Mother, and she had googled her name which in turn showed that her Birth Daughter was searching for her. The Pastor wanted more information, so he did not say who the adoptee was. For almost 1 day, I know that dosen't seem like a long time, but for us it was years! We knew that the adoptee was female, but I knew it wouldn't be me. I think that I will be a mystery for as long as I live.
It is my belief that the word mystery perfectly describes how I feel about being adopted. It is a mystery that I long to solve.
My Birth Parents may never try to search for me and I can live with that. There are so many reasons that they don't want to search. Maybe they are married and never told their spouse about their secret. That is what we were to them. It is a shame that they felt they had to keep us locked up inside and never be let out. I wish that my Birth Family found this site, and would understand that I would never want to cause them any unecessary pain. If they didn't want a relationship I would understand, but just to have the chance to know where I come from would be great.
So for now I remain a mystery.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Why I search

I often wonder why I continue to search...I believe that it is because of my childhood. I was the second child adopted by my parents. I have always felt that I was ignored to often. My adopted parents were divorced by the time I was three, and my brother and I became the "objects to own" by them both. When I was younger my Brother was always the object of desire, and it caused friction between us. So, I search to find maybe what I lacked as a child. I am very grateful to my Birth Parents for placing me for adoption, and not taking an easier way out. I wish to cause no pain. I love my live now, not that it is perfect. I have a wonderful and supportive husband, and three great children. If I had not been placed for adoption, I would not have that.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Searching for my roots!

I was born August 27, 1966 in Anne Arundel, Maryland. I have all my non-identifing information. There is little to search with. My Birth Family lives some where in the New England states. I have posted with all the search engines, hoping to find someone searching for me. I have not had Catholic Charities start a search for me for a few reasons: 1.) I don't have the extra money at this time. 2.) Yeah, I'm affraid they will reject me, and I am not prepared for that. I belong to a couple groups, and my heart soars with all the finds, and joyful reunions. I like the fact that someone else gets me. The family that adopted me, had adopted my brother 2 years before. His Birth Mother contacted my adopted Dad, and she wanted to know if my brother wanted contact. At that time in his life he wasn't ready. Tragically, he passed away 1 1/2 years later. When I got my non-identifiying info, I asked them to put a note in his file that he had passed. His Birth Mother had CC contact me, and see if I would talk to her. Of course I said yes. I was able to share him with her, and I sent her pictures, and papers that he wrote. I have had a very good relationship with her for over 10 years. I would love to do the same with my Birth Family.
I have read so many posts that get so hostile about the "Adoption" issue. My feelings on this are simple. You have Two sets of parents, the Birth parents and your adopted parents. So many people get caught up in the name game. I am from a divorced family, and they both remarried. I now have 3 Mother's and 3 Fathers.